bang bang bang bang bang on 9S's front door, either he's inside the house and will answer the door or maybe he's outside and gets to come home to Kano doing a poor job of breaking down his door with his fist, either way, hello. ]
[ There is nobody down either end of the street, but Kano ducks around 9S to let himself in quickly anyways. Hopefully 9S has already gotten his daily dose of vitamin D because Kano goes around the house and slides shut all the curtains so the entire living room darkens. ]
[ Why must this house always become SHROUDED IN DARKNESS whenever Kano comes by... 9S's face falls and he locks the door. ]
Cookies, actually. But you're seriously burying the lead here. Why is Jiang Cheng after you?
[ If Kano peeks into the kitchen, he'll find a baking sheet of warm chocolate chip cookies on the counter. They look edible, but the taste and texture are a bit... off. ]
[ Same reason why the gang from before was after him, same reason why Shinobu was upset at him, it's always this reason. Kano picks up one of the cookies and breaks off a tiny piece to pop into his mouth—
...
He spits it back and out tries to mold it back into the cookie to make it whole again. ]
[ 9S watches Kano eat the cookie and then attempt to put it back together again (gross) with a deep frown. He leans back and puts his hand to his forehead. ]
Oof. That bad, huh? I followed the recipe to the letter, but I just can't seem to get it right. I don't suppose you know anything about baking?
[ If Kano looks in the trash, he'll find... even more cookies, worse off than the ones on the counter. ]
If it was fine, then why didn't you just swallow it?!
[ Kano's logic is too elusive for 9S's own logic circuits to process... His shoulders slump in defeat, and he waves a hand. ]
Take as much as you want. Just do me a favor and try not to kill anyone with them.
[ Especially the ones that were in... the trash...... 9S isn't sure how much he can trust Kano's taste buds, especially if he's been making bread of dubious quality for actual months. ]
All things considered, I don't think I can blame him. You do tend to be full of surprises, so your bread might be too.
[ All the flavor with none of the calories, 9S. They're terrible, so he is going to send these trash cookies to Jiang Cheng. ]
But, aw, that's discrimination, Nines! I didn't even put my name on it, and he threw away unlabeled unclaimed bread!
[ Which is worse, a loaf of bread from a complete stranger, or one from Kano? It was okay bread, he didn't even stick any crunchy surprises inside like it was tempting to do. ]
So what's all this for? If you want surprising cookies, you sorta got that down already, you don't need my help.
[ Is Kano's bread or mystery bread more dangerous... 9S ponders the very same question. ]
But I don't want surprising cookies! I just want... cookies. The kinds that people like to eat.
[ The problem with 9S not needing to eat is that he doesn't have a well-rounded reference for what food is supposed to taste like. The best he can do is push his food on other people and see what they say about it. ]
There are these kids. They've been through a lot, and they baked something for me before, so I wanted to return the favor. Cookies sounded easy on paper, but in practice? Not so much. They always come out a little... funky.
[ He looks at the cookies he's collecting, and then over at 9S. ]
Why don'tcha just buy cookie dough from the store and bake 'em and give those to the kids?
[ Little kids don't care about homemade cookies made completely from scratch right down to the sifted flour. They just want cookies, preferably with large chocolate chunks. ]
[ He slaps his hand over his face in frustration and also self-disappointment. STUPID. Humanity spends so much time making weird crap, he should've known they'd sell something as bizarre as unbaked cookies. ]
Augh! Well, this has been a colossal waste of time.
[ Unbaked cookies people will take spoonfuls of to eat straight up without even bothering to bake, the best. Kano laughs, though, and is quick to clap 9S consolingly on the back. ]
It wasn't a waste of time! I got a lotta ammunition out of this, after all~ You got lots of chocolate chips left, right? You can go ahead and stick a couple more inside the dough when you buy it, right in the middle like ravioli, I bet the kids'll love that.
[ The poor cookies are going to fall apart but that's okay! 9S can make one large sheet like with brownies and just cut them up after. Cookies with extra extra extra chocolate, the kids won't complain. ]
[ He mumbles that under his breath, skeptical about how that would make any of this less of a waste of time, but decides not to ask in earnest because he has no doubt that Kano could absolutely turn the dud cookies into weaponry. He does cheer up a little, though, in response to Kano's suggestion. ]
You know, that's actually a pretty good idea. I did want to make them a mega cookie, so an extra shot of chocolate will be the perfect touch. Thanks, Kano.
[ Kano is a weirdo, but he has his moments. And he does pretty well in a pinch. Speaking of which... ]
How's your injury been, by the way?
[ He points to his own arm/shoulder in illustration, because pointing at a (hypothetical) human would feel too rude. ]
[ Anything can be ammunition if you try hard enough. If these cookies ooze chocolate and fall apart because they were too greedy, Kano can work with that too, already shooing 9S out the door so they can go buy that cookie dough, never mind Jiang Cheng reportedly being outside ready to swoop down and kick Kano's ass. ]
Hm, well... still broken! I can poke it without crying now, though, but I try not to do it too much or it might get, like, misaligned or something, y'know?
[ Human bones are stupidly fragile. His shoulder's a lot better, though, considering it's out of the sling and he can lift it somewhat, but he tries not to move his other shoulder too much because that one got jarred falling out of a tree and failing to kill Wei Wuxian under his weight. Stupidly, stupidly fragile. ]
How's your, um... hm.
[ 9S didn't break anything, did he? ]
Head injury.
[ It's been a really long time. Is he doing okay? ]
[ I can't believe Kano is just ignoring that 9S's hand popped off but 9S has been counting on it being too crazy to be believed so good. And judging by the swiftness with which Kano ushered them out onto the allegedly Jiang Cheng-infested street, 9S is forced to question whether Kano is just making up excuses to barge into 9S's house now. ]
Like it never happened. I've got a pretty strong noggin.
[ YoRHa androids are built for a beating, which 9S finds terribly ironic. Still, he maintains his smile as he locks his front door behind him and gets to strolling toward the market. ]
Thinking back, it's a miracle we all made it out in one piece. Talk about a recipe for a disaster. And I have to give credit where it's due: you're pretty handy in a crisis, Kano.
[ 9S's hand was a fever dream along with flying Gatling guns and honestly that entire night. It's just as fake as roaming Jiang Chengs, but you can't discount the possibility of the man hiding in a back alley somewhere waiting to get the jump on them- murder Kano away from his friend's house, it'll be less incriminating or something. ]
Heh... No way, no way, don't count on me in a crisis, I don't want any part of it!
[ no more crisis for him, no sir, he is taking at least a four day break from crisises for his own sake. ]
'sides, it looks like you could handle it just fine on your own. Wow! I can't believe they all made it out alive!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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bang bang bang bang bang on 9S's front door, either he's inside the house and will answer the door or maybe he's outside and gets to come home to Kano doing a poor job of breaking down his door with his fist, either way, hello. ]
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When he opens the door to find Kano, he takes a moment to lean out and look both ways down the street first. ]
Alright, who's after you this time?
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[ There is nobody down either end of the street, but Kano ducks around 9S to let himself in quickly anyways. Hopefully 9S has already gotten his daily dose of vitamin D because Kano goes around the house and slides shut all the curtains so the entire living room darkens. ]
Are you making bread? When will it be ready?
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Cookies, actually. But you're seriously burying the lead here. Why is Jiang Cheng after you?
[ If Kano peeks into the kitchen, he'll find a baking sheet of warm chocolate chip cookies on the counter. They look edible, but the taste and texture are a bit... off. ]
no subject
[ Same reason why the gang from before was after him, same reason why Shinobu was upset at him, it's always this reason. Kano picks up one of the cookies and breaks off a tiny piece to pop into his mouth—
...
He spits it back and out tries to mold it back into the cookie to make it whole again. ]
no subject
Oof. That bad, huh? I followed the recipe to the letter, but I just can't seem to get it right. I don't suppose you know anything about baking?
[ If Kano looks in the trash, he'll find... even more cookies, worse off than the ones on the counter. ]
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[ He just wanted a little taste of the cookie. It's fine. See, he even put it back together good as new. ]
Can I have these?
[ He gestures to the cookies on the tray, but also to the ones in the trash. ]
I've been baking bread for a couple months now and Ookurikara's refused to eat even a single one of them. It's good bread! I think.
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[ Kano's logic is too elusive for 9S's own logic circuits to process... His shoulders slump in defeat, and he waves a hand. ]
Take as much as you want. Just do me a favor and try not to kill anyone with them.
[ Especially the ones that were in... the trash...... 9S isn't sure how much he can trust Kano's taste buds, especially if he's been making bread of dubious quality for actual months. ]
All things considered, I don't think I can blame him. You do tend to be full of surprises, so your bread might be too.
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[ All the flavor with none of the calories, 9S. They're terrible, so he is going to send these trash cookies to Jiang Cheng. ]
But, aw, that's discrimination, Nines! I didn't even put my name on it, and he threw away unlabeled unclaimed bread!
[ Which is worse, a loaf of bread from a complete stranger, or one from Kano? It was okay bread, he didn't even stick any crunchy surprises inside like it was tempting to do. ]
So what's all this for? If you want surprising cookies, you sorta got that down already, you don't need my help.
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But I don't want surprising cookies! I just want... cookies. The kinds that people like to eat.
[ The problem with 9S not needing to eat is that he doesn't have a well-rounded reference for what food is supposed to taste like. The best he can do is push his food on other people and see what they say about it. ]
There are these kids. They've been through a lot, and they baked something for me before, so I wanted to return the favor. Cookies sounded easy on paper, but in practice? Not so much. They always come out a little... funky.
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[ He looks at the cookies he's collecting, and then over at 9S. ]
Why don'tcha just buy cookie dough from the store and bake 'em and give those to the kids?
[ Little kids don't care about homemade cookies made completely from scratch right down to the sifted flour. They just want cookies, preferably with large chocolate chunks. ]
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..........?! ]
They sell cookie dough at the store?!
[ He slaps his hand over his face in frustration and also self-disappointment. STUPID. Humanity spends so much time making weird crap, he should've known they'd sell something as bizarre as unbaked cookies. ]
Augh! Well, this has been a colossal waste of time.
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It wasn't a waste of time! I got a lotta ammunition out of this, after all~ You got lots of chocolate chips left, right? You can go ahead and stick a couple more inside the dough when you buy it, right in the middle like ravioli, I bet the kids'll love that.
[ The poor cookies are going to fall apart but that's okay! 9S can make one large sheet like with brownies and just cut them up after. Cookies with extra extra extra chocolate, the kids won't complain. ]
no subject
[ He mumbles that under his breath, skeptical about how that would make any of this less of a waste of time, but decides not to ask in earnest because he has no doubt that Kano could absolutely turn the dud cookies into weaponry. He does cheer up a little, though, in response to Kano's suggestion. ]
You know, that's actually a pretty good idea. I did want to make them a mega cookie, so an extra shot of chocolate will be the perfect touch. Thanks, Kano.
[ Kano is a weirdo, but he has his moments. And he does pretty well in a pinch. Speaking of which... ]
How's your injury been, by the way?
[ He points to his own arm/shoulder in illustration, because pointing at a (hypothetical) human would feel too rude. ]
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Hm, well... still broken! I can poke it without crying now, though, but I try not to do it too much or it might get, like, misaligned or something, y'know?
[ Human bones are stupidly fragile. His shoulder's a lot better, though, considering it's out of the sling and he can lift it somewhat, but he tries not to move his other shoulder too much because that one got jarred falling out of a tree and failing to kill Wei Wuxian under his weight. Stupidly, stupidly fragile. ]
How's your, um... hm.
[ 9S didn't break anything, did he? ]
Head injury.
[ It's been a really long time. Is he doing okay? ]
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Like it never happened. I've got a pretty strong noggin.
[ YoRHa androids are built for a beating, which 9S finds terribly ironic. Still, he maintains his smile as he locks his front door behind him and gets to strolling toward the market. ]
Thinking back, it's a miracle we all made it out in one piece. Talk about a recipe for a disaster. And I have to give credit where it's due: you're pretty handy in a crisis, Kano.
no subject
Heh... No way, no way, don't count on me in a crisis, I don't want any part of it!
[ no more crisis for him, no sir, he is taking at least a four day break from crisises for his own sake. ]
'sides, it looks like you could handle it just fine on your own. Wow! I can't believe they all made it out alive!